


Lost in The Dream

by sanlytherin



Category: ATEEZ, Atiny, Woosan - Fandom, Wooyoung - Fandom, choi san - Fandom, jeong wooyoung - Fandom, san - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:14:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26511244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanlytherin/pseuds/sanlytherin
Summary: At a different point of life where two persons who didn’t know one another found themselves appearing in each other’s dreams which led to a fateful meeting.
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, San/Wooyoung, Woosan - Relationship
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prologue
> 
> 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟓, 𝐎𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝟐𝟐𝐧𝐝
> 
> “𝘐𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 5 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘩𝘶𝘩? 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵, 𝘐’𝘭𝘭 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩 𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶. 𝘎𝘰𝘥 𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘨𝘪𝘧𝘵𝘴 𝘎𝘰𝘥 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘮𝘦. 𝘐𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘦, 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘧 𝘐 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘯 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯, 𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯. 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘥, 𝘐 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶.”

The weather was so nice, cherry blossom was blooming outside the window. It was such a wonderful morning, San woke up with tears in his eyes. _“San-ah, I noticed you keep on crying in your sleep this past few days.”_ Byul said while withdrawing the curtain to let fresh air into the room. _“This one person kept on appearing in my dream every night, but I don’t know him but we were inseparable in my dream. We were so happy but he would end up leaving me alone every single night.”_ San replied. _“Wow that’s intriguing.”_ the older one replied while straightening up San’s frail body against the bed. _“Yes I know right. But, noona he was so pretty, he was so beautiful. Even in my dream I would look at him dearly like he’s the brightest star in the universe. I don’t know him but all the dreams felt so real, it felt like memories.”_ she looked at him with sadness in her eyes. _“Noona you don’t have to look at me that way, a dream is just a dream. Nothing more.”_ Byul is San’s neighbour, they had been friends since they were kids. The hospital had been San’s second home since he was 16 and that was 6 years ago. He always had a weak body since she could ever remember and he had a very saddening childhood to top on that. His mother passed away when he was 14 due to leukemia and soon 2 years later his father followed his mother due to liver cancer. San did not have any other siblings and relative too to take care of him and all the inheritance went to him. Out of the sense of responsiblity Byul saw the need to be the one taking care of him and at the same time she felt that it’s like his late parents trusted her to do so.

_“Yahhh!!! Don’t run in the hallway! Omma will get angry at you Kyungmin!! This is a hospital for God sake!”_ A slander body, average height boy, with hair bangs almost covering his eyes was screaming at a much younger boy; presuming his younger brother. The little boy then ran into the room where San and Byul were. _“Oh God Kyungmin, that’s a patient’s room! I swear to God you gonna regret this!”_ the average height boy cannot believe his eyes and ran to catch his younger brother. _“Oh dear, I am so so sorry for my stupid brother. I_ _tried to stop him but he just won’t listen.”_ the boy apologized to Byul continuously for the disturbance while glaring at his younger brother. _“Hahaha no worries, as long as he didn’t cause trouble. And the patient there was also entertained.”_ Byul just laughed it off while pointing at San. The said older brother looked at San and their eyes met; there was a couple seconds of silence between those two. _“You! I know you! You appeared in my dream, like a lot!”_ the said boy shouted after coming back into his senses. _“Did I appear in your dream too?”_ At that moment of time San was flabbergasted, it was really the boy who constantly appeared in his dreams and it turned out he did too. _“Too? What do you mean, I appeared in your dream also?”_ Now the other boy got more shocked than he already was. ***phone rings*** _“Sorry I have to answer this.”_ he eyed to San and Byul. _“Yes omma. Kyungmin is with me. Alright, we’re coming in a min.“_ he shoved his phone back in his pocket. _“I would like to talk more but I really have to go now, Kyungmin let’s go. Sorry for the disturbance again.”_ the boy took his younger brother hands and exited the room with another bow. _“Wait, at least tell me your name.”_ San pleaded. _“It’s Wooyoung, Jeong Wooyoung.”_ the boy said with a smile and rushed away. _“Wooyoung-shi, please come again tomorrow!”_ San shouted hoping the other boy would have heard it. 

_“Noona it’s him!!! It’s really him, the one who appeared in my dreams!”_ San shouted excitedly. _“I know San! Oh my God, I was so surprised and thrilled! Like is this even true, is this for real, what kind of coincidence is this. I hope he’ll come tomorrow!”_ Byul was as excited as San was and praying hard that the boy who was named Wooyoung would come tomorrow because she noticed the sparks in San’s eyes that she had never caught a sight of before the moment the younger boy’s eyes met the other one just now.


	2. Chapter 2

San was watching the tv when he heard a knock on his door. _“Noona? A moment please I’ll get the door for you.”_ San replied while pushing the IV drip stand with him. Byul was not there yet as she had an assignment submission due at 11. ***door open*** _“Hi! It’s not noona. But it’s me. Wooyoung. I hope you’re not disappointed hahaha”_ the slightly shorter guy smiled so brightly and San was so mesmerized by that. _“Hello? Can I come in then? You told me to visit you yesterday hehe And I would love to continue our conversation yesterday.”_ Wooyoung said in pouts, and by then San realized this boy right here in front him do have a lot of cute sides that he could anticipate too. _“Ouh sure come in, I guess you heard me yesterday.”_ San replied really happy because he was highly hoping that Wooyoung would come. _“I sure did.”_ the shorter guy replied whilst naturally helping San to his bed. _“No you don’t have to. I’m fine.”_ San looked at him. _“Ouh sorry. Iam just used to helping in this kind of situation. You see my mom is a nurse, yesterday was her first day here, me and Kyungmin my little brother tagged along to see her new workplace.”_ San thought to himself that Wooyoung is a very talkative and easygoing person, he talked a lot but not in an annoying way, plus to that it made San felt comfortable.

_“So yeah the noona you talk about is she your girlfriend? I’m pretty sure she’s not your sister because you guys don’t look alike hahaha.”_ Wooyoung wasstill the one who’s carrying the conversation. _“Hahahaha of course not my girlfriend. Byul noona is a childhood friend of mine that has been helping me since forever. The one who cares about me the most, who always forgot to put herself first.”_ San felt really indebted to Byul, he could never know how to repay her. _“Aaa I see. Ouh yes I brought special tea from Malaysia, I’ll make one for you!”_ Wooyoung stood up from his seat and went straight to the kettle to make themselves tea. _“Ouh Malaysia? I’ve never been there. I heard it’s a very nice country to visit and has loads of good food too and things there are cheap too.”_ San got excited hearing that that the other guy had went to the country he had not. _“Yes indeed. We went there last two months for my appa’s business trip. It was a lot of fun although quite difficult to communicate as my English sucks hahahaha. So now I’m learning English so that in the future I won’t experience the same problem hehe. Here’s your tea San-shi and may I know how old are you?”_ Wooyoung gave the taller guy his cup of tea. _“Oh, I did not even introduce myself yet right. You must have seen my name infront of the room. Choi San, I am 22 years old.”_ San replied with his full name and age, it’s a norm in Korean culture to ask ones as the social hierarchy one of the major things that should take into account. _“Waaah!!! We’re the same age!!! I am 22 too! When is your birthdate, mine is November 26th.”_ the same aged friend got a little bit too excited upon what he just heard. _“Ouh what a coincidence! You just can call me San then and can just drop the formalities. Yaa, mine July 10th, you’re slightly younger than me by months hahaha.”_ San was a bit surprised as Wooyoung really looked much younger than his age. San thought that he was at least a year younger than him but at the same time he was relieved that they were the same age, so he has one less thing to worry about. 

_“Ouh yes, about what you asked yesterday. Yes, you appeared in my dream too.”_ San continued. _“What is the meaning of this actually? I’ve been having similar dreams since I came here.”_ the slightly younger guy was in dazed, how could he and San shared the same dreams when they had not known each other before. _“Since you came here?”_ the taller guy asked not quite understand at the statement. _“Yes because we recently moved from Ilsan to Namhae less than a fortnight ago. So I’m very new here hehe.”_ his eyes crinkled lovingly whenever he smiled. His family decided to move to the countryside since his parents needed a rest from the hustle and bustle of the busy city as they said they were aging; they really needed to wake up to fresh air. _“I see you’re not from here. Now I get why you don’t speak in satoori. So now you are studying or working?”_ San became more interested in the other guy. _“You must have thought I am a snobbish brat who won’t talk in satoori right?”_ Wooyoung lift his left eyebrow showing that he knew exactly what San thought. _“Right now I’m doing nothing as I just finished my serving in military. So actually were thinking to continue study but still feeling a bit lazy.”_ the shorter guy continued. _“Hahaha maybe I thought a bit of that, but then with no ill feelings. I just thought you’re cute.”_ Wooyoung blushed at San’s sudden compliment, he also realized that everytime he talked, San would just locked his eyes on him listening to him attentively, it’s just like in his dreams. 

They talked so much until they heard a knock on the door. _“Aaaa that must be noona.”_ San was about to get of bed to get the door but Wooyoung stopped him and signed that he would do it. _“Hello.”_ the younger guy greeted the older one upon opening the door. _“Ouh! Hello, you came!”_ It could clearly be seen how delighted Byul was at the sight of Wooyoung. _“San, I was worried for coming late and leaving you alone here but I guess I don’t have to since you have company.”_ The older girl smiled while putting her stuffs on the table. _“Ouh my bad, I forgot to introduce myself. The name given is Im Dal-Byul, you can just call me—” “Byul noona.”_ Byul haven’t finished her sentence but got interrupted by San. _“Ouh I am a noona? Hahaha I am pretty old then.”_ the older girl frowned with an awkward laugh because everywhere she went she’s always be the elder one. _“Hahaha you’re just 2 years older than him noona, nothing’s old about that.”_ San assured Byul eventhough he didn’t know it would work or not. _“Ouh 2? That makes you and him the same age.”_ the petite one tried to do her math; Byul is small, San and Wooyoung is at least plus minus 20cm taller than her. _“Yes Byul noona, we’re the same age. What a coincidence right hehe”_ this time Wooyoung replied. _“Very! By the way, have you guys eaten lunch. I brought hamburgers and luckily I have extra too, so Wooyoung can have it.”_ San asked while unpacking the hamburger paper bags. _“Lunch? What time is it now?”_ Wooyoung asked while he himself looking at his watch. _“Oh no! It’s 1pm already, I didn’t notice at all, I really have to go now. I promised Kyungmin to bring him to the playhouse.”_ Wooyoung couldn’t believe that he really didn’t realize the time, because he thought he was only talking with San not that long ago. Guessed time flew quickly when you talked with someone you’re comfortable with. _“Ouh what a bump. But you still can take this burger with you.”_ Byul handed the younger one a paper bag. _“Thank you so much Byul noona. Bye bye, I am sorry that I have to leave abruptly like this.”_ He bowed to Byul and then to San. _“Wooyoung, if you’re free tomorrow you could come by again, like not just tomorrow you can come by anytime you want.”_ San said, because he really enjoyed Wooyoung’s company. _“Yes! I would love to! I’ll surely come visit again. See you tomorrow San!”_ the bright shorter boy left the room with a happy heart.

_“Someone looks delighted.”_ Byul sensed the difference in San’s face. _“Hahaha he is just so comfortable to be with.”_ San replied. _“Well that’s good to hear, here’s your burger.”_ the girl passed him his lunch with a relieved smile.


	3. Chapter 3

2 months had passed swiftly like the time was dancing to the two young lad fateful meeting. Wooyoung visited San almost everyday, if he missed to visit they would talk on the phone about everything. Byul was so happy because San seems a lot more happy and energetic since that day. _“San-ah, I’m going to buy iced choco, do you want too?”_ Byul asked. _“Ouh yes please, thank you noona.”_ the younger boy replied.

_“Noona!”_ Wooyoung called Byul. _“Ouh you’re here too.”_ replied the girl. _“Aaa yes, bought drinks for all three of us.”_ the taller guy said while showing his hands that were full with cup of drinks. _“Aaaa you don’t have too actually, I was about to do so.”_ the older one felt bad. _“No it’s just drinks, no worries!”_ Wooyoung assured her. _“Noona do you have some time to spare to talk?”_ he continued. _“Yes sure, plenty. Let’s talk upstairs.”_ she replied. _“Hurm, I prefer talking without San around.”_ the younger boy hesitated. _“Ouh... sure.”_ the girl was a bit taken aback but she knew Wooyoung must had good reason for it. _“Thank you noona, we can sit there for a bit.”_ he said while pointing to a bench near the water fountain. 

_“Hurm noona, would you mind telling why San had been admitted to hospital. Like what is he suffering from...”_ he was initially reluctant to ask but the curiousity was killing him. _“You don’t know? San didn’t tell you?”_ Byul was shocked at his question, it’s been more than one month since they knew each other. _“I’ve never asked. And actually I don’t have the heart to do so. Like even everyday we talk, it’s always about me. I know nothing about him... I am just to scared to ask him.”_ the boy explained. _“Hahaha that boy. He should’ve at least told you himself or I think he thought you knew already. But, it’s okay. You see San always had a frail body since he was a child, his parents were both ill and died because of it so it’s hereditary. So he suffered septicemia before but he got better afterwards, then later he was diagnosed with anemia, it’s just sad right? haha and I think you can guess what’ll happen next right.”_ the older girl smiled faintly. _“Noona... I didn’t know it’s this bad. How long does he have left? Is there no other way?”_ Wooyoung could not believe his ears, he did not know that San’s dying. _“The doctor said 2 years at most. The hospital suggested to do surgery but that stubborn is still thinking about it.”_ another faint smile with tears rolling on Byul’s cheeks. _“Now now Wooyoung. Don’t give that long face, but I’m glad you asked. God knows when you will know if you didn’t ask me today. By the way, I think I need a time out a bit, tell San that he’d understand. I’m taking this with me. Thank you.”_ Byul stood up and took her drinks from the paper bag in Wooyoung’s hands and walked to other ways. She needed time for herself a bit after she told Wooyoung that because she knew if she went up straight to that boy who had been with her more than a decade, she’d get too emotional and cried. 

_“Hey! You’re here! and with drinks? did you perhaps saw noona?”_ San asked. _“Ouh, Byul noona said she needed a time out.”_ Wooyoung put a smile on her face. _“Aaaa I see. You knew now. I was actually planning to tell you in the early time we met but the timing was always off. Sorry for that.”_ the boy on the bed said with an apologetic laugh then continued with a sorry smile carved on his face. Wooyoung stayed silent, as he looked more into San’s eyes, tears fell down. _“Haihhh_ ** _(heavy sigh)._** _Come here why are you crying?”_ San felt bad because it was so obvious how Wooyoung looked at him with such grief eyes. _“Nothing is confirmed too, there’s the surgery.”_ the taller boy assured him. _“But, noona said you are still thinking.”_ Wooyoung finally spoken. _“Hahaha that too. Yes I am still thinking but don’t worry much.”_ San wiped the other boy’s tears.


	4. Chapter 4

Summer greeted San, Wooyoung and Byul with a full scorching 32 degree heat on San’s discharge day. _“Finally Wooyoung, you’ll get to see San’s house hahaha.”_ Byul said while driving them to the said boy’s house. 

_“Waaahh how long was it, 6 months? This was the longest I stayed away from home and just bedridden in the hospital.”_ San unlocked the door. His house remained clean because a hired maid always came once a week to clean the house. _“Hahaha yes the longest! You two go rest inside. I’m going back to my house. And Wooyoung stay for dinner too, my mom cooks full course meal to celebrate today but it’s at my house though.”_ Byul said while showing her house that was right beside San’s. Both of San and Byul’s houses are landed houses; Wooyoung thought these two must have come from a rich family. San’s house is a double storey house with a vintage touched interior design to it, with 3 rooms upstairs and 2 rooms downstairs and each room had it’s own bathroom except for that 1 small room downstairs. Very spacious for a one person to stay, it must be lonely. _“You must be thinking weren’t I lonely living alone here right?”_ it’s like San could read Wooyoung’s mind. _“I actually spent most of my time in noona’s house, and at other times hospital. So it’s nothing really. I could just sell this house and rent a small apartment but that would be a lot of paper works so yeah anddddd I don’t want to trouble imo and noona. Because even now imo would cook for me every single meal and if I were to move out noona will have to go all the way to my apartment to send me food.”_ Wooyoung fully understood San’s reasons and he was pretty sure San’s main reason to not move out was the latter one. 

_“San-ah, I’m bored! Play with me please!“_ the shorter guy sat on the sofa and realized there was nothing to do and San looked so occupied. _“Hahaha, you’re always like this. We’ll play games after this okay? Now, I’m going to shower for a bit, make yourself at home. If you want something to drink or eat, feel free to use the kitchen. Don’t worry about the expiry date, everything just got refilled this morning hehe and if you want to shower too, you can choose any bathroom you’d like orrrr do you want to wash up together? hehe Just kidding, you can borrow my shirt for a change too.”_ San said in one breath winking at him then walked his way to his room. _“Ugh that guy what a tease! I don’t even get half of what he just said. I guess I’ll just lay down for a bit.”_ the pouty boy murmured to himself.

San came down with his wet hair trying to dry it with a small towel and saw Wooyoung sleeping on the couch. He went and sat beside him, observing every inch of the slightly younger guy’s face. How beautiful he was, how mesmerising he was, truly God took his precious time to create Jeong Wooyoung. Honestly, San bleed for Wooyoung because since that day Wooyoung knew, he always had such sorrow eyes. The younger one always acted cheerful but San knew Wooyoung was sad and disheartened. San himself did not know that they would be really dear to each other, that San himself would develop such important feelings towards Wooyoung. _“Wooyoung-ah wake up.”_ San woke the younger boy softly. _“Ouh you’re done? I’m sorry I was planning to just lay down but I guess I fell asleep hehe.”_ he replied. _“Yes you did.”_ San replied with the tenderest smile to him. _“Wooyoung-ah, this must be really selfish of me telling you this but just please hear me out.”_ San looked at the other boy with deary eyes because only God knew how he cherished this boy infront of him. _“I like you, I love you Jeong Wooyoung. I believed that it couldn’t be pure coincident that we dreamt about each other when we don’t even know each other, and then God let us meet each other. It would be too ridiculously perfect if it’s a coincident, don’t you think so?”_ Wooyoung was numb for a second, he couldn’t compute what just happened, he just woke up and suddenly San confessed to him. Suddenly tears went down without him even realising it, and he hugged the boy infront of him. _“San-ah, I’ve been actually waiting for this. Because, I just don’t know your feelings so I was scared so I just kept it to myself.”_ the taller one beamed and said. _“I know, and actually I’m glad you kept it to yourself because I wanted to be the one who said it first. I don’t want things like last time to happen again.”_ San hugged the person he loved, the person that he would give the world too close to his heart.


	5. Chapter 5

Wooyoung was getting ready for his date with San when his mom called him. _“Omma I’m getting ready, why again this time?”_ he whined from his room. _“Your boyfriend is here already!”_ his mom shouted back. _“What?! Why is he so early for?!!”_ he quickly get his hair done. _“Omonyi, you don’t need to rush him. I’m at fault, I came a little bit too early hehe.”_ San said. It had been more less than a month since they were officially dating and today’s San’s birthday. _“San dear, that son of mine if you don’t rush him he’d be in his room for hours fixing his hair, fixing his clothes and only God knows what more he’d find time to do.”_ Wooyoung’s mom shook her head. The two of them had promised to go out on a date for the whole day since also in the weekends San needed to go back to the hospital. _“Choi San I’m ready! hehe.”_ Wooyoung shouted as he walked out from his room. _“Omonyi we’re going out. See you later.”_ San said to his boyfriend’s mom whilst bowing. _“Bye omma, don’t cook dinner for me okay. I love you!”_ the son added. _“Yes, safe drive! And Wooyoung don’t tire San, he has so much in hands already taking care of you!”_ his mom reminded, a bit worried that her son would trouble San. Both of them bowed again and walked out with their fingers intertwined. 

As Wooyoung opened the door he saw a bouquet of pastel pink and white carnations on the passenger’s seat. _“San-ahhhh, what is this for?”_ Wooyoung was stunned at the sight of the flowers. _“Hahaha for you. I saw it on the way here, and thought of you.”_ Wooyoung took the flowers and got in the car still in disbelieved. _“But, San-ah. I should be the one giving to you today. It’s your birthday, it is supposed to be your day not mine.”_ Wooyoung just didn’t know how to react. _“Everyday is my day Wooyoung. So, I felt like giving to you on a day that is special to me. Later I want to buy something for noona too so I wanted to stop at jewellery shop first, we still have spare times before our lunch.”_ San drove out from the parking lot. The florist just now said to him white carnations resemble pure love, just like his love to Wooyoung while pink carnations resemble admiration just like how his eyes and heart admires Jeong Wooyoung. 

_“Are you enjoying your birthday?”_ the boyfriend asked while twirling his pasta. _“Of course, and because you’re here with me I’m enjoying it more.”_ San smiled lovingly at him. _“Let’s enjoy today the fullest because what a bummer I need to go back to the hospital this weekends. And you’re getting busy with your application right. It is okay you know, to not visit me everyday, I don’t want to trouble you.”_ The taller one said with reassuring eyes. _“San-ah, I have told you so many times. It is never a burden for me to go visit you, I enjoy having you as company. I love talking to you, no just the thought of seeing you every single day already make my heart flutters. I’m doing this for myself okay, don’t get to over your head that I’m doing it for you wekkkkk hehe.”_ the adorable one said while sticking his tongue out. _“Hahaha alright if you say so. I like having you near me as well though, how can I not just look how lovable you are.”_ San smiled with the most affectionate eyes. 

The waitress later came with chocolate brownies cake written _“_ _소중한 최산_ _(Precious Choi San)”_ with a lit candle on it. San gave Wooyoung a surprised look. _“I’m sorry it’s the only thing I could prepare, you don’t give me a chance to do more.”_ Wooyoung gave the taller guy an apologetic smile. _“No, don’t apologise please. This is actually more than enough, I told you already on this day I wanted to give to people instead_ of receiving.” The slighty older one gave Wooyoung a dear look. _“By the way, miss can you take a picture of us? I saw at the entrance there are lots of polaroids so perhaps do you provide the service? I don’t mind paying.”_ Suddenly San remembered the many polaroids he saw on the board near the entrance just now. _“Yes, we have that. And since I assume today is your birthday, the polaroid would be on the house. I’ll be back in a minute.”_ the waitress said excitedly yet still being respectful. She came back in a split second with a white polaroid camera in her hand. _“Thank you for waiting.”_ she said; San replied with a smile. _“1, 2, 3 chijeu!”_ ***chal kak*** At the sound of ‘chijeu’ San kissed Wooyoung on his cheek, the latter one eyes’ widened, he was honestly shocked and so was the waitress but the waitress tried to remain calm as she didn’t want to appear rude. _“He’s my boyfriend. Aren’t he the most adorable?”_ San looked at Wooyoung adoringly and then looked at the waitress with a grin. _“Here you go. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day, and happy birthday.”_ The waitress smiled whilst handing the polaroid taken politely to San. _“San-ah what did you do?”_ the kissed one questioned as soon as the waitress walked away. _“I kissed you. Obviously, it’s not like this is the first time and it’s just on the cheek, or you want somewhere else?”_ he gave a cunning smile. _“I know, but this is different. People are looking, even the waitress was shocked.”_ the boy with the bangs sounded a bit wary. _“And so? What’s wrong with people looking? You are someone who I can proudly show to everyone, you’re that kind of person to me. You are a person who I’m not embarrassed to be with, a person that’s worth showing off.”_ San said, his hands move towards his partner locking fingers with the other’s whilst looking in his darling’s glistening pair of eyes; to San, Wooyoung has a pair of eyes that shines brighter than the moon and stars at night, looking into his eyes is like walking on a myriad of happiness, also the ones that brightens up people’s day especially when his eyes lit up whenever he got excited. Wooyoung’s face flushed, his ears in deepest shade of red, that kind of compliment was really unexpected and he just didn’t know how to respond; he was feeling so many things at that moment but one thing that he was really sure is that he was very touched. _“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it that way. It’s just—“_ _“Yes of course, I understand that.”_ San nodded assuring the boyfriend to not feel rueful.

_“Go in now. I’ll wait here until you go inside, say thank you to your mom.”_ San said to the boyfriend, they were finally at Wooyoung’s apartment after going out for the whole day. _“Alright, see you tomorrow San-ah.”_ Wooyoung was about to open the car door when San grab his hand and gave him a peck of kiss on the lips. _“Hehe I love you, see you tomorrow Young-ah.”_ he smiled and pat Wooyoung’s butt. _“You always caught me off-guard like that!”_ the smaller boy spoke in pouts. _“I love you more!”_ he then bid his cunning boyfriend byebye. _“I know.”_ San’s face at that instant showed the most content feelings he had felt. 


	6. Chapter 6

Another season had passed; through the windows leaves were falling, colours of nature became bold, strong resembling home. Truly, fall has the best weather out of the four seasons. Byul was waiting patiently while gazing outside the casement for San who were not in the room when she arrived.

_“You met with the doctor just now?”_ Byul asked. _“Yes. He gave me damn lots of meds, I have tons already, how they expect me to eat all of these. Hahaha”_ he laughed but there’s something in his eyes that were different and Byul knew that. _“Don’t try to hide it San, I know you more than half of my life. You’re not going to do the surgery right?”_ the older one’s eyes already teary. _“Noona... I’m sorry. At least you have 1 more year or so of me being your pain in the ass.”_ he tried to make a joke but the girl started sobbing already, he went to her and hugged her tightly. _“There there...”_ he carrased her hair. _“I am truly sorry Byul noona, truly am.”_ Byul continued sobbing in his arms.

_“San-ah, I’ll go back first okay. Later at night I’ll come again with your favourite porridge.”_ Byul cooled down a bit after crying for 2 hours. _“Okay noona. Don’t cry anymore okay?”_ the boy reminded the girl. _“How can I not?”_ she said whilst taking her bag. All Byul can do was just cry, she couldn’t say anything because she respects San’s decision. But to imagine to lose San was very unbearable and of course to that other boy also.

_“San-ah! I’m here! I brought you iced choco.”_ Wooyoung greeted him happily as soon as he entered the room. _“Hahaha arent you lovable. Come here I have something to tell you.”_ San called him with the softest voice he could ever have. San took Wooyoung’s hand and locked with his and looked at the boy that he treasured so much endearingly. _“Young-ah, I’ve made up my mind.”_ he smiled at his boyfriend, at that second already Wooyoung’s eyes started tearing because he knew then what was decided. _“Are you really leaving me San? Why don’t you try for the surgery. You have chances to live. Don’t you love me? Does noona know already?”_ Wooyoung started whimpering. _“Wooyoung dear, yes it’s true I do have chances to live but at the same time there’s chances the surgery wouldn’t work too. What if the surgery fails? The date of the surgery is 2 months away, I got terrified thinking the chances of it’s failing. I’d choose to just live one more year and spend it with the people I love and dear. And I heard that the surgery is gonna be painful, I have suffered enough pain Wooyoung-ah. Yes, noona knew already, she cried so much it was painful to watch and now you. I’m so sorry love that you met me, that you have to suffer this pain. I’m truly sorry.”_ San was feeling so guilty to have Wooyoung cried like this, he felt so sorry but he could do nothing but to just comfort  him. _“Don’t be sorry, I decided to stay with you. To be honest, I saw this coming but I brave myself to be with you because I like you so much, I love you so much. So you have nothing to be sorry about, but it still hurts though. It hurts so much more than I imagined it would be, but since it’s your decision and knowing you I know you must have put all your thoughts in it, so I respect it. Sorry that I told you otherwise just now.”_ Wooyoung had long decided to honour San’s decision no matter what it is when the time comes but when it really came it just too painful, he wanted to be with San forever. 

They talked more like usual that night preparing for better days in the near future together; at least for one year more. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended to read this chapter whilst playing Still With You by Jungkook on repeat.

_“The weather is getting colder since it’s already mid-December. Imma buy that hot chocolate first for me and San.”_ Wooyoung mumbled to himself while shaking his hot pack. _“Two hot chocolate please.”_ he ordered. _“Your name please.”_ the waitress asked. _“Woo, San with a heart shape please.”_ he smiled. 

Whilst waiting for his order he saw a kid was crossing the road to catch his ball and a car was coming in full speed. _“Oii kid!”_ without thinking Wooyoung ran to the boy and pushed him off the road.

***bleak***

Wooyoung woke up with wires all over him. _“What had happened, why am I in the hospital?”_ he thought to himself. _“Aaaa I tried to save the boy and get myself hit instead.”_ memories were coming back to his senses and then he saw his parents and doctor rushing to his bed. _“Thank God. Adeul you are finally awake, I was so scared you wouldn’t wake up at all.”_ his mom was weeping. _“It’s just a scratch omma. How long was I out?”_ he asked, the way his mom said like he didn’t wake up for 5 days. _“3 months Wooyoung, you were in a coma for 3 months. How can I not be scared.”_ his mom could not stop crying. _“3 months? what do you mean 3 months? Where is San?”_ there was silence, no one answered him. His dad couldn’t even look him in the eyes, his mom cried more at his questions. _“Doctor, I am okay now. I need to go see San. He’s a patient here too, room 899.”_ Wooyoung pulled out all the unnecessary wire out of him but the doctor stopped him. _“Wooyoung-shi. That patient named Choi San is no longer here.”_ Wooyoung sat back, still calm. _“Ouh has he been discharged? Alright then_ , _omma can you give my phone, I at least need to text him that I’m awake now. He must be worried_ _sick, I’m scared it might affect his health.”_ the doctor looked down and took his step away from the family. _“Omma please, if you don’t have my phone with you. Can I borrow yours.”_ the son pleaded. _“Uri adeul, I am so sorry—“_ his mom couldn’t continue, she didn’t have the heart to continue. _“What are you sorry for omma? Please tell me...”_ Wooyoung began to panic, he knew something was not right, he sensed something but he didn’t want it to be true. _“San... is no longer here with us. He, passed away.”_ his father continued. Upon hearing that Wooyoung couldn’t believe his ears, it’s the one thing he tried to brush away the moment he mentioned San’s name and his parents started looking away from him, he fell to his knees and started crying. _“What do you mean omma, appa? He still has one more year, what do you mean he passed away he couldn’t have, not this fast.”_ tears wont stop, it kept on falling. _“I am sorry dear, he saved you. He gave his heart to you. When the accident happened, your cardiac was damaged so you needed a heart transplant. When San knew that, he didn’t think much and offered his. But it was not possible to do it easily as your bloodtype and his doesn’t match so he needed to undergo 2 months sessions of plasmapheresis to bring the antibodies down so that he could be a donor to you.”_ Wooyoung was in more disbelieved of what he just heard. _“And you guys let him? Just to save me?”_ He raised his voice because he was in raged at his parents' selfishness. _“Of course no adeul. I told him that Wooyoung wouldn’t want that and he insisted, he needed you to live, he said at the end of the day he’s going to die either way, so this must be a mean for him to save you. He couldn’t let you die, he was very broken Wooyoung when he heard the news that you got into an accident.”_ Wooyoung cried more, why did San go to the extent to save him. _“We will give you space, in the drawer beside you there’s a letter from him.”_ his dad said while taking his mom’s hand to go out of the room.

Wooyoung got up and went to the said drawer and saw the letter. He cried more, this is just so heartbreaking for him, he couldn’t bear. It was more painful compared to when he was hit by a car; at least that time it was only his body was hurting but this is a whole new level of pain. It was felt in the heart, like a newly sharped knife went right through your chest and you couldn’t let it out so it stayed, the pain stayed, it was so excruciating. With that unbearable agony he opened the letter, it was a handwritten letter by San.

_Dear my most cherished person Jeong Wooyoung,_

_Hi Wooyoung my love, I am sorry that it has come to this. Who would have thought right? Today is the last day of the session, I really hope it would go well. I am truly sorry that I won’t be there by the time you wake up. Do you know, when I heard that you got into an accident and you’re in a coma with almost 0% chances of waking up, my whole world crumbled down. It’s like all hell break loose, I cannot even think because it was too painful. They told me you were hit by a car when you tried to save a little boy. That is so you Young-ah, kind and selfless, not anyone can do that. Knowing you, you must have just jumped off the road and pushed the kid right? hahaha When the doctor told me the only way to save you was a heart transplant but there’s no donor at the moment, I didn’t even think twice. The only thought I had was this must be the only reason why God still kept me alive, it was to save you thus was our dreams. Now it all make sense why you’re the one leaving every single time, it had been a sign all this while and I just couldn’t find myself to let that happen Wooyoung-ah. The time I calmed down a bit, I finally realized that what you must have felt when I told you I’m not going to do the surgery. I am sorry that I am again the selfish one. I am truly sorry again that I won’t be able to be with you for another year as promised. Again knowing you, you must be feeling sorry for noona; you don’t have to. Byul noona, she accepts it well. She cried_ _everyday though, at times if you don’t mind do check on her too. This is my last one; from me to you, from Choi San to my precious Jeong Wooyoung the one I would give the world to, my soulmate, my other half, the one who has a lot of aegyo, the one who I know love me more than you ever showed, I hope that you’ll live your life as to the fullest because that is what you deserve, be your usual self; bright, easygoing, cheerful, loving. I hope you are always blessed with eternity happiness and soon this heartache that I had caused will go away, I don’t want you to be constantly reminded of this painful events. Don’t feel sorry for what had happened_ _because my heart has always been yours, even in the beginning and now until the end. Don’t live for me, live for yourself. I love you Jeong Wooyoung._

**_— Choi San  
October 22nd, 2020_**

Wooyoung tightly hugged the letter close to his chest, tears won't stop streaming, heart won't stop breaking. _“I love you too Choi San.”_


	8. Epilogue

Wooyoung left a bouquet of white and pink carnations for San as white carnation resembles pure love just like how their love blooms and pink carnation resembles admiration just like how they both admire each other with unconditional love given to one another.

_“It has been 5 years huh? You know that, I’ll keep our memories forever in heart even till my last breath I would remember you. God borrowed me you for a shortwhile but for sure it was one of the best gifts God ever given me. It was nothing regretful about our fate, even if I were born again, I would still come look for you and fall for you again. I have loved, I still love and will forever love you.”_ he said whilst walking away from the love of his life; he’d come again at another time, always. 

_“In another life I would be your love, we'd keep all our promises, be us against the world.  
In another life, I would make you stay. So I don't have to say you were the one that got away.” _Katy Perry’s voice lingers on through Wooyoung’s airpods.

**Author's Note:**

> If you are reading this, I appreciate your time spent reading my work. Thank you so much, I hope you like it. I would appreciate comments and feedback 💜
> 
> //Sorry for my bad english as it’s not my first language 🙏🏼


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